Live and Lead For Impact Podcast with Kirsten E Ross

EP 108: Social Media – Recommendations to Minimize Regret

Episode 108: Social Media:  Recommendations to Minimize Regret

Click To Download Your Free Sliding Into Self Care: Super Simple Strategies for Crazy Busy Lives

In the last episode, I talked about making things LOOK a certain way rather than having things BE a certain way. 

 

It all began with my trip to a wonderful destination where our condo was designed for an initial great presentation over the practicality of actually living there for a time. 

 

That concept also definitely leaves me thinking about what social media can do around this same concept.

 

How many people can scroll through their feed to say, “Yes, these posts definitely mirror my actual life!”

 

My guess is….No One!  And, the truth is, they really shouldn’t. 

 

Sure, you can share a bit about a health scare, or perhaps a quick quip about some unfortunate circumstance. 

 

But, social media isn’t really the place to air all of life’s challenges, missteps, snafus.

 

The problem is that, as we scroll through other’s feeds we can forget that this is just a snapshot, a small, mostly positive sampling of another’s life. 

 

We live in a world filled with happy, smiling faces on FaceBook and can sometimes forget that those images do not represent a person’s whole life.  Most share just the best, brightest happiest moments…. Some of those moments can be very fleeting, no longer than it took to capture the smiling faces for a post then back to unhappy, grumbling, fighting and more. 

 

So, to be our best selves we must stop comparing our full lives to the happy, window-in-time moments depicted on social media.  Doing that will, of course, leave us feeling like everyone else is living happier more exciting lives. 

 

These comparisons do NOT serve us!

 

My first recommendation is Avoid Social Media Comparisons

 

Here are a few more recommendations to avoid regret as you swirl through the virtual world of social media.  Used well, social media can add value, but, forget what you’re dealing with and you can add plenty of frustration to your real life.

 

 

Avoid Debates:  The reality is that, on social media, Ideas and opinions are shared AT people.  Sharing here will rarely mirror an actual conversation like you might be able to have in real life.  On social media it’s more about showcasing your use of “smart” words, sticking to the far side of a spectrum of opinion and driving an idea home vs. actually seeking to understand another person’s point of view.

 

Often in the middle of divergent opinions is a thought that makes a lot of sense.  But social media debates don’t move people towards compromise.  Instead sharing there continues to highlight and stretch our differences.  I do believe it is playing a large role in dividing us……We are all quite similar actually, I just think that communicating on social media helps us forget that as we focus on our differences.

 

 

Keep Your Digital Commitments:  We have become lax with our invitations and time commitments.  Where we used to use a mailed invite, many now use a tag on social media, an email or a text to announce a party or event. As a result, invitations all feel looser and less important.  People wait to reply while comparing other options, don’t reply at all, or say they’ll come but just skip it if something else comes up or they don’t feel like going when the event rolls around. 

 

Digital commitments don’t carry the same weight as the formal invites we used in the past.  It can lead to hurt feelings and a wedge in what might be important relationships.  So, my recommendation is…..at LEAST keep your digital commitments. If some of us continue to do this maybe we can help slow the deterioration of commitment to invites.

 

Don’t Let Social Media Replace Real Interaction:  Social media definitely increases your circle of casual acquaintances.  However, we sometimes spend less time in actual connection with those we’d normally see or talk to.  Social Media interaction doesn’t count!  The problem is that we feel like we know about the kid’s concert or the trip to Florida and there is less motivation to meet up or talk to catch up.

 

Our closer relationships can then diminish down to meet the relationships that we haven’t invested in at all, where most of our up-keep happens online.  Now we are missing real connection and getting only the made-for-mass-viewing version of a close one’s life.  This is not the same and can lead to feelings of isolation.

 

Make the extra effort to stay in connection to those most important to you.

So, can social media play a key role in our world today?  Sure!

 

You can

Share an idea, concept or more in-mass

Find others with similar interests

Reach out in support groups for encouragement

Share about public events, new business offerings, etc……

 

And, it is nice that we can stay a bit engaged in the lives of those we’d otherwise have zero contact with. 

 

Yes, social media has a place in our world  Just use with caution and keep the recommendations I’ve shared in mind to minimize your regret and avoid the frustration that social media can ignite.

 

Click To Download Your Free Sliding Into Self Care: Super Simple Strategies for Crazy Busy Lives

EP 107: Living Right or Just Looking Good

Episode 107: Living Right or Just Looking Good?

Click To Receive Your Busting Fear: Jumping out of Limbo Land PDF Download!

Recently we had the chance to travel to a warm destination. It was awesome!

When we walked into the condo where we’d spend a week, we were amazed! It was beautiful, open, and spacious, with an awesome view!

But then……as we moved through our normal living activities we found that there had been little focus on functionality in the space.

There were only a couple of small drawers in our bedroom and no room for a suitcase, making it impossible to have organized access to our clothes. The bathroom had no place to hang towels or tuck away toiletries. Furniture in the living space looked nice but was not comfortable…….

And the list goes on……

The space was definitely designed for presentation over practicality.

Now….I certainly did not let ANY of this spoil our time away!

But….it got me thinking about a number of clients I’ve worked with and…just people I’ve run across through life, who put that same emphasis on looking good over actually living right.

A life filled with fabrication and dysfunction over real fruit.

Zig Ziglar, a popular motivational speaker, said, “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

Talking about what you’ll do or, worse, pretending to do what you’ve said is NOT the same as taking real action and never will be.

Don’t let fear stop you from real action.

Zig also said, “With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide.”

And he’s right! Fear can stop you from action but then you may have to live with the new fear of hiding what is true.

Working to make things look a certain way over actually making it so through work is exhausting and a waste of effort! Trying to track words you’ve said without truth, failing to follow through on commitments. Fear, hiding, and guilt that accompany all of these will steal your focus.

Getting others to believe things are different does not make it so! And lies you tell yourself can keep you stuck in what you desire to change.

My clients leave each coaching session with a list of action items they’ve committed to take that will move them towards their desired goals. As we review the list from a previous week I must rely on self-reporting. Did they do what they promised?

Most of the time my clients are honest, but, at times, it quickly becomes clear that they are working to impress me with fabricated success over what they’ve really achieved. And I have to call them out.

The end goal can’t be about impressing me for a moment. I’m not going to judge or push for any agenda that is mine. Faking forward momentum doesn’t affect me.

And fabricated looks don’t last.

So, ask yourself, do you want to create impact for the long haul or just look good for a moment or two?

Living and leading for impact requires integrity…..So, be real with yourself and others.

Make sure your words and commitments match actions. And, where they don’t, clean it up!

Some Simple Little Things to Ponder from What I Shared Today:

1. Be real. Pretending to be something that you are not does not move you closer to who you want to be, but real change does!

2. You only achieve what you actually achieve, not what you or others believe you achieve.

3. Lying zaps energy and shifts focus. Why live in a way that ignites fear, worry, overwhelm, confusion and more lies?

4. Getting others to believe your lies does not prove bad things about them, but it does say a lot about you.

What are you really working towards? Do you want things to LOOK a certain way or would you prefer them to BE a certain way?

Integrity is a key foundation to living and leading for impact. End of story.

Fear can sometimes limit integrity. I’ve got a free download below to help you bust your fear…

Click To Receive Your Busting Fear: Jumping out of Limbo Land PDF Download!