DTD Episode 14 Show Notes
What Motivates You? The Carrot or the Stick?
What motivates you, the carrot or the stick? It’s important to be aware so that you can create the motivation. Do you need to create a consequence for yourself for failing to do what you must or do you work better with a nice reward system? Does it make more sense for you to use a money jar for swearing or failing to meet some other goal or would you work better visualizing the great reward?
I often have my clients put a rubber band on their wrist to help them work through a habit that isn’t serving them. The quick sting of the band provides an immediate negative reinforcement. It is also a good tactile reminder that says, ”snap out of it!” Literally!
If it’s the stick that motivates, you still must know what you are moving towards or you never know where you’ll end up.
As a child of about 5 I still remember the time that I told my parents I was running away. I don’t remember what motivated the response but I do remember that I was packing my clothes and leaving. When I told my dad about my decision he calmly asked, “where will you sleep tonight?”
Hmmmmm, good question. I hadn’t really thought that far ahead. I had planned the announcement and the escape but nothing more.
As adults we sometimes do the same thing proclaiming, “I’m outta here”, before we really have a plan. We feel frustrated, disrespected, devalued and think, “I am leaving. I’ll show them.“ Or, I can’t take it anymore. And we head off with no specific destination or plan in place.
NOW there are times when you must move this swiftly. For instance, if your personal safety is in danger. Most other exits provide time for planning, however, if we can have the self-discipline to prepare before our flight.
I always tell my clients, “don’t just run from something. You want to be moving powerfully towards something.”
Regardless of how you are wired, make a plan for where you are heading next so you don’t end up someplace else.
So, create your plan, whether it’s a short or long term goal and then use what motivates you to catapult you towards that prize!