DTD Episode 96 Show Notes
6 Tips to Help you Say No without Guilt
As I’ve shared before, many of people I work with struggle with people pleasing. Often they feel overwhelmed and resentful. They struggle to get things done on time because they are always over committed. No matter how busy, they continue to say yes to all the requests people make of them.
If you haven’t mastered the art of saying no this is probably you.
So, let’s look at some key reasons why some people have such a hard time saying no – do you see yourself anywhere?
And here’s one I hear from many of my Christian clients. “God wants me to serve others.”
I do believe this is true. We are all given gifts to use in the service of others. But, here’s the thing, if you are a follower of God, He is supposed to guide your actions, your service. If people are taking up 100% of your time you don’t have the capacity left to follow God’s lead. He does not call us to serve 100% of the people who come asking, regardless of the request.
So, if you are a people pleaser who has used this as your excuse I ask you to stop.
Here are six strategies to help you say no. Use them, practice them, take back some control of your time.
Buy Time: “let me check my calendar, or I”ll get back to you in a couple of days, or let me think about that, or check with my partner
Policy Statement: sounds office –cast in stone, out of your hands. “I have a policy not to volunteer in the evenings.
Shift the Focus – this is not about you, I need to say no for me. – said with empathy for the other person’s situation and with eye contact
Know Your Priorities: If you set a priority of the family eating together then say no to all intrusions to this.
Keep It Simple: no long-winded explanation or excuses – just sounds more defensive.
Tackle Easy Situations First: start by saying no to the paper boy or the phone solicitor first – build the muscle on the easy ones and then tackle your overbearing relative
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