Have you ever felt like your options were limited?
Whether it’s a missed promotion, business not
going as well as you’d like, or feeling the drain of
burnout that launched you to that place. You begin
to use phrases like “I have to”, “There is no
alternative”, or “you gotta do what you gotta do”
which all leave you feeling powerless. Resignation
sets in and locks us down and we begin to feel like a victim to our circumstance.
The good news! I have a tried and true strategy that you can implement immediately, a simple shift that can change your perspective in a moment. It might seem silly but try it on for size. You’ll be surprised at the dramatic difference it can make. Instead of, “I have to”, adopt the phrase, “I choose!”
Powerfully proclaiming and owning the unhappy or less than ideal circumstance immediately empowers you.
So, if you are hating your job right now and thinking, “I have no choice! I have to keep working here!”
Do a quick reality check. The truth is, you actually do have choices. You don’t “have” to keep working, or stay in that relationship, or stay in the living arrangement, or live in that city.
You could make an immediate change. There would be some negative consequences to making the change but you COULD just never show up to work again.
The most obvious consequence, of course, is the lost income. It might be difficult to find another job while in transition, you might not be able to pay your mortgage or rent, your spouse may be very angry and inspired to take action to make you pay for your actions.
So, you could take that immediate action. Your cost benefit analysis has had you reach the conclusion that it is better for you to stay right now. The reality is you are just CHOOSING not to make a change right now.
Creating the alternative as a possibility, however, immediately generates a sense of freedom.
Choosing isn’t about giving full consideration to the alternatives. It’s about realizing that you do have choices and helps you begin to use a different language to describe your current circumstance. So proclaim it now! I Choose!
Living as a victim is not fun. Feeling empowered to choose your current circumstance allows you to powerfully stay. It unleashes creative energy that you can then use to generate a plan of action to change the less than ideal situation.
I have shared this strategy with many clients who were on the verge of transition. Whether it was a change in job or in relationship status the simple shift helped them choose the current situation to move beyond the energy zapping feeling of being stuck. Over and over I’ve been witness to the immediate change in attitude and the reignited energy that follows. From this empowered place they were able to table a swift, misdirected move while they contemplated objectively their next steps.
It might seem like a silly little exercise but try it on for size and let me know how it goes. I’d love to hear from you!