EP7: Overcoming People Pleasing Leadership

Defeat the Drama Episode #7 Show Notes

People Pleasing Leaders

Click to download the show notes for Episode 7

peoplepleasingSymptoms of a People Pleasing Leader:

Constantly overwhelmed and scattered
Often feel unappreciated
Experience building resentments in your relationships
Feel taken advantage of
Have people pushers in your life
Accommodate life is hard sympathy card employees too often
You want everyone to be happy
You often feel disappointed in your team
You rarely, if ever, provide constructive feedback to your team
You tell yourself your employees should just know what to do
You stuff your feelings or are not even aware of them
You minimize your own wants and needs
You excuse or justify away your need to speak up


Robbing Your Team of the Opportunity to Excel
Minimizing your ability to succeed in your business
Missing opportunities to serve your customers/clients/patients well
Working to exhaustion but can’t get it all done
Agreeing to things that you know you can’t deliver on
Building resentments towards your employees
Feeling overwhelmed and burned out or are on your way
Your team feels they can’t trust you
Employees aren’t sure whether they are performing well
Customers take advantage of you or don’t pay their bills

Formula to Defeat People Pleasing Leadership:

  1. Collect the Pain:  Begin to notice where you feel resentment, disappointment towards others.  Notice when you are overwhelmed and frustrated.  Pay attention to all the
    times you put your agenda aside for someone else’s emergency or request.
  2. Determine What You Want/Need:  It may have been a while since you thought about what you wanted.  Start practicing doing some check ins throughout the day. Determine whether you are pretending to be happy or if you really are.
  3. Start Speaking Up:  Begin saying no to requests where appropriate and start setting boundaries and asking for help from others.  Set clear expectations for your employees.  Provide constructive feedback where necessary.
  4. Gather Successes:  As you speak up or say no and get a good response, take note.  Remember all the times that your feared outcome did not happen.  Start with people who are easier to speak with.  Then work towards tackling the People Pushers in your life.
  5. Build Momentum:  Continue to speak up as you build enthusiasm and feel empowered. Enjoy the feeling and keep going!

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