Live and Lead For Impact Podcast with Kirsten E Ross

EP 140: F It For Impact – Fend Off Fear (4 – 5)

Fend Off Fear

#4 in the series – F it for Impact

 

Fend off Fear

  • Amygdala – can’t stop it – don’t have to listen

  • Son – afraid of thunderstorms

  • Not just fear of actions – talking to a stranger, calling someone, speaking in front of the room

  • Fear of

    • disappointing others,

    • not looking good,

    • failure

    • Feeling useless

Making someone angry or sad

Are you struggling with difficult relationships?

Head over to DefeatTheDrama.com/Roadmap

EP 139: Marine Corps Combat Veteran, Father and Firefighter An Interview With Michael Turpin

Marine Corps Combat Veteran, Father and Firefighter

An Interview With Michael Turpin

 

Are you struggling with difficult relationships?

Micheal Turpin

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mikeyt13

A proud father of one, Marine Corps combat Veteran, Indianapolis Firefighter, mental health advocate, peer support specialist, with a mission to bring hope to the hopeless. Through his lifetime, adversity and turmoil strengthened and equipped him with experiences understand the misunderstood and love the unlovable.

Michael’s mom passed away when he was in 3rd grade.  His aunt signed paperwork so he could join the Marine Corps. Right out of high school.

He has lived through some very tough experiences and had a period where he felt that gave him license to make bad choices and be bad.  He says he had a victim mindset that infected his whole life. He had difficulty with substance use and came very close to taking his own life.  He felt hopeless and isolated.

He still works to keep the victim mentality at bay.  He has a plan and people he can call if he’s not feeling well.  His go to people are real and tough but also let him be heard and have empathy.  He also found God and turns there when times are tough.

Michael now provides that for others as a Peer Support Specialist for the firefighters he works with.

His words of wisdom for others:  process your emotions. Embrace the struggle and then move forward.  Lose the victim mentality. Instead of asking why me ask, what can I learn?

When you go for something go all in.  Screw it up with confidence.  Be intentional and learn from your mistakes.

EP 137: Empowered Readers Literacy Project – An Interview with Khalil Thompson

Empowered Readers Literacy Project

Interview with Khalil Thompson

 

Khalil is a husband, father of 2 girls and a serial Enabler of Good. He was born in Oakland, came of Age in New Orleans, and became an adult in Atlanta.
Khalil is on a mission to help families build strong reading rituals.  Not teach people to read, but grow people who are excited about reading.  Give parents the tools to build the fun of reading into daily life by providing fun activities and also access to diverse books.  They focus on families with children from birth through age 8.
Khalil’s daughter is the inspiration for his work.  She came home from kindergarten one day feeling very sad that some children couldn’t read.  She was heartbroken that some kids didn’t have access to quality books.  Khalil and his wife tried to explain that every family is different.  His daughter didn’t like this answer. 
When Khalil and his wife started researching the issue they learned that literacy was directly tied to stats for time in prison.  Two thirds of children who are not reading well by the third grade will end up on welfare or in jail.  And the school dropout rate is high.  And, that prisons actually plan for jail space based on the dropout rates for an area.
Now they too were inspired to do something about this issue!  And that’s how Empowered Reader’s was born.
They are now encouraging reading in 3 main ways:
Books on the Green – outdoor reading or theatre depicting stories.
Educate Parents about fun reading activities.  Help to create reading rituals before age 3.
Books for Kids through free neighborhood libraries, books into homes through pediatrician offices and also Books for Kids by Kids in the neighborhood.
Khalil shared that he had just taken the leap of faith by turning in notice with his employer so that he could fully focus on the nonprofit. 
His words of wisdom for others, “You can either let tough times box you in or be the wind that moves you.  Have a vision and you can get there.”

Empoweredreaders.org

Are you struggling with difficult relationships?

Head over to DefeatTheDrama.com/Roadmap

EP 135: Girl Boss Sports – An Interview with Sarah Wolfer

Girl Boss Sports – An Interview with Sarah Wolfer

 

GirlBossSports.com

Sarah Wolfer is the CEO and Founder of Girl Boss Sports – a Greater Seattle area soccer company that is devoted to female athletes and coaches. Sarah is also a Professional Tackle Football Player with the Seattle Majestics (#29) and is working on a book centered on women in leadership and sports in 2019.

As a female soccer player a turning happened when a male soccer coach got in her face and was very aggressive. She started crying and was kicked out of practice. She quit playing for a while and is not determined to encourage more women to become soccer coaches. And, she wants even more girls to play the game. She uses the sport to teach beyond the techniques. She teaches leadership and other life skills from the field.

A key to success, she says, is to have a great support system. Her husband and teammates are part of her strong support team. She also has an accountability call every Tuesday night. It’s also very important to engage in good self care. Get good sleep, find ways to feel inspired, listen to great music.

It’s okay to be scared! She was terrified before her first football practice. She did it anyway! One strategy she strongly recommends is the Power Pose that she calls the Fearless Girl Stance. Spend 2 minutes in the pose while saying positive affirmations and you’re ready!

GirlBossSports.com

EP 134: F It for Impact – Fuel Your Fortitude – 1 of 4

F it For Impact – Fuel Your Fortitude #1 In a Series

Commit and just don’t quit – Don’t give yourself the out – Table the Decision – don’t waste time pondering

 

  • Every day I learn new things

  • It will get easier

  • I will find a way

  • I haven’t tried all the possible ways yet

  • Play it like a game – have fun while you try new things – see what you can make happen

    • Here are the trip ups to avoid to help you fuel your fortitude

    • Know that Perfect Timing is a Myth – Sometimes you have the commitment BUT – you need to commit to action – NOT just committing to commit – Don’t delay action until you feel ready – get in research mode- feel like you have to have it all figured out first – you won’t know everything until you just do it – It’s okay to figure things out as you go – unitl the kids are back in school or the sun begins to shine – WRITING MY FIRST BOOK
    • Instant Gratification is Mostly a Myth
      • Bill Gates said, “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in 10.
      • Impact takes time – commit to the specific steps you must take daily, weekly, monthly and just keep going.
        • If you have kids you know you had to wait for that first smile – that first little positive reinforcement while you fed, changed, burped, walked…..
        • Blogging, podcasting – anything where you are working to connect with people – can feel like it’s going out into a black hole – invisible – but…often people are watching, noticing….it takes time
        • Most famous people had years of struggle before you knew them. Much of what you see is the end result of years of sacrifice – to US it’s instant fame but that is rarely the reality
      • Your Why – I have my Objectives – WHY I participate in Network Marketing – Not heart centered – more practical – and then my WHY – Objectives also help and can be good when speaking to people – different things to pull from:
        • Solo Preneur 15 years – provides a team of goal oriented people into personal development – hard to find – NM provides that environment
        • Help More People – Coach, Speak, Motivate
        • An additional Stream of Income –

    And then the WHY – Heart Centered – More than money – what that money or time freedom can do – MUST include an element of serving others – When speaking with others they need to feel that a part of your purpose is about them – This will also have you speak in a way that gives them freedom to say yes or no – to decide for themselves if it’s right for them.

    • Run Your Own Race – don’t compare –
    • Burn the Boat – Remove other options – earn the auto bonus, get the car
      • Downturn in the economy – single mom and business owner – started also looking for a job – realized – needed full focus on biz – couldn’t get my heart into working for someone else – my time and energy was divided – full force – highest earnings to date that next year

    Are you struggling with difficult relationships?

    Head over to DefeatTheDrama.com/Roadmap

    EP 133: We Are More Similar than We Know – He’s On a Mission to Ignite Unity Through our Stories An Interview with Kenneth Williams Jr.

    We Are More Similar than We Know – He’s On a Mission to Ignite Unity Through our Stories

     

    Connect with Kenneth Williams on Linked In:
    https://www.linkedin.com/in/kenneth-j-williams-jr-m-a-b8263266

    Kenneth recently graduated from Michigan State University with a Master’s degree in Public Relations and a specialization in Nonprofit Fundraising.

    In the fall of 2017, Kenneth was selected to be a Forbes under 30 Scholar.

    Kenneth earned his Bachelor’s Degree in Communication with a minor in Leadership and Integrated Learning from Michigan State University in May of 2016. He has extensive experience in various sectors of Public Relations including nonprofits, technology and crisis communication. Additionally, Kenneth has studied abroad in Mexico, Belize and China whilst also being a published author.  He was also on MSU’s Homecoming Court.

    He contributed a section to an anthology published by the MSU libraries.

    Kenneth’s mission is to connect people through story telling.  He is passionate about the power of shared experiences.  He has spent his life writing and sharing stories and learned early that, even when people seem very different, they can connect when they see themselves through someone else’s experiences.

    One of his biggest challenges was dealing with the loss of his grandfather, who was always his biggest cheerleader.  He also struggles to maintain a good sense of his worth.  He works to know his value without feeling arrogant.

    To overcome tough times he prayers every day.  His favorite verse is Luke 12:32.  He knows that he should not have fear.  God seeks to bless him beyond what he can imagine.

    He encourages others to learn to love themselves and says that no one should curb their brilliance out of fear of fueling someone else’s insecurities.  –Be Boss-

    Get Your Free Relationship Renovation Roadmap Tool:
    DefeatTheDrama.com/roadmap

    EP 132: The World Needs Your Impact: Stop Beating Yourself Up!

    The World Needs Your Impact: Stop Beating Yourself Up!

     

    Are you struggling with difficult relationships?

    Head over to DefeatTheDrama.com/Roadmap

    Do you set goals and fall short of meeting them?

    Do you make promises to co-workers or volunteers and then fail to follow through?

    Are daily choices inconsistent with the outcomes you say you’d like to create in your work or life?

    You are not alone. Whether it’s a New Year’s resolution to get to the gym 4 times per week or a commitment to an employee that you’ll be better at delegating tasks with a reasonable amount of lead time, we humans have a tough time breaking bad habits and implementing the new and improved.

    We have great intentions. We just get stuck. And before we know it 5 months have passed without any noticeable change or personal growth.

    So, based on the title of this episode you might be thinking, “oh yay! She’s going to tell me it’s okay. Everyone does it anyway. Move on and just be okay with how things are.”

    Sorry. That’s not the emphasis today.

    Yes, I will still encourage you to stop beating yourself up when you fail to meet a goal or a deadline. However, the reasoning is different. If you’ve been listening for a while or have worked with me you know that I’m all about defeating drama. Beating yourself up is just a waste of time. And it shifts your focus away from meeting your objective.

    You see, when you are calling yourself names and mentally berating yourself, where is your focus? On you and how bad you are.

    Is this motivating? No.

    Is this time spent on creating a new plan that DOES move you towards your goals? NO.

    Beating yourself up is just self-induced drama. It shifts your focus away from where it needs to be; on making the plan you must implement to meet your objectives.

    And, too often our berating tends to lend the opportunity to give ourselves a pass.  Do any of these sound familiar?

    • I do this everytime. I’m just not cut out to be successful.”
    • Why bother even trying? I’m just setting myself up for failure.
    • I have no will power.
    • I’m a complete loser!
    • I suck

    Our mental beat down can become an excuse, a long term justification.

    And how motivated do you feel while engaging in this kind of negative self talk?   Get over yourself and get on with it!

    Now, I don’t want you to completely skip over the feeling of disappointment or the loss of what could have been. Experience the pain to motivate you to new momentum. So, notice it quickly but don’t park there. Don’t let a disappointment become a long term beat down.

    When a client shares their story of a missed deadline or failed commitment my first question is always, “how does it feel?”

    If it’s a failed commitment to another person I also want them to think how that person might feel or what their team might be saying to each other. I also ask them to think about how they might feel if someone failed to follow through for them in the same way.

    This helps build the motivation for change. The goal is to reignite the commitment.

    From there we move quickly to, “Now, what do you want to do about it?”

    • What did you learn? This is an important question. Perhaps you can glean some additional information about structure required to pull off the change. Are there ways to build in hourly, daily or weekly accountability? Do you need a tracking system? A notorious strategy for dieting is to keep a food journal so that dieters are conscious fo what’s going in their mouths. A tally of calories can be an eye opening experience. Information and facts are so helpful to maintain motivation.
    • Is there any clean up you must do as a result? Any apologies or acknowledgements to make? Is trust eroding or disappointment building between you and others? Acknowledgement and an apology go a long way to rebuilding trust and igniting hope.
    • How will you reaffirm your commitment to yourself or others to create accountability?
    • What actions will you take to keep your commitment?
    • What do you need to create logistically to succeed?
    • What progress, if any, did you make? Was there any forward momentum? Any positive steps? If so, take a moment to celebrate.

     

    If you’re like most of my clients you have big dreams and a hearty list of goals to tackle. You have a vision for the difference you want to make. Don’t get in your own way. Break those goals into manageable stepping stones and create the positive mindset that you WILL make them happen one daily choice at a time.

    And, if a bump in the road happens caused by you or something out of your control you’ll keep on keeping on. Your plans are too important to give up on!

    Remember, the world needs your unique impact!  Go do it!

    Are you struggling with difficult relationships?

    Head over to DefeatTheDrama.com/Roadmap